Believing

 What is going on? Lord, why do I feel my prayers are not being answered? Why do I feel my life crumbing when I need to be at my best? Why is fear starting to inch into this situation? I have written many times about the faithfulness of God, about the saving power of Jesus, and the support of the Holy Spirit provided us in finding the answers to life. Yet as I attempt to write of God’s strength and blessing I find myself uninspired to do so. Before You get the impression the I Bill Goodin is throwing in the towel, let me say with a hearty voice,”My redeemer lives.” ‘The Lord is not slack in answering our prayers.” We can count on His supporting us during these times of extreme tribulation.
    Knowing Jesus on a personal basis has so many privileges. He knows our difficulties and He is there to help us with our problems. The enemy, satan, will bring unbelievable trial into our lives. He knows how much we love life and those God has blessed our lives with. He will make every attempt to destroy those things dear to us. While we covet the answer to life's problems we often focus on earthly things and earthly answers. There are times in spite of man’s great wisdom we fail to accomplish what we believe is necessary. We pray and yet we look to the things of this world for answers to our problems rather than waiting upon the Lord and accepting His timing. Oh, how shallow our faith is and how often we want the upper hand.
    I know today I will face again the issues surrounding Darlene’s failing health. I know what I want and I want it now and my mind is tired of man’s attempts that seemly amount to nothing. Yesterday the Lord spoke to me while I was in the room with Darlene to lay my hands on her and pray for her healing. I said Lord I am no healer but after several more pushes I went to the bed, laid my hands on my wife and prayed. I rebuked the issues that are causing her problems. I didn’t sense anything happened. What did I expect anyway. I had already said I’m no healer. Therein lies the problem I’m not, He is. Many wonderful prayers have been spoken on her behalf by people I believe to be some of God’s choicest, and yet she remains extremely ill. The doctors who perform miracles everyday have yet to answer my why’s and what’s.  Yet I belief the Lord capable of doing much more than our minds can conceive.
    I remember still the agony I felt at the time of my daughter Annie’s death. All the years of praying seems to have meant nothing as I look at her lifeless body. My hopes at that moment were shattered. The next day while walking through the kitchen bearing the heavy load of my loss I receive a vision of a lovely, healthy young women running through a beautiful field with her hair flowing over her shoulders. She turns and smiles and it is my Annie. At that moment my eyes viewed heavenly things and I realized that what I had prayed to God for had been answered.  He gave me a brief look to assure me that all was Ok. Praise His name. I still miss her, there will never be another quite like her I know. I also know that someday I too will see her again this time free from the shackles of this life.   
    Make no mistake I want my wife to be healed. I want her wonderful presence to continue to be apart of my life. What I don’t know is what the Lord wants from all this. I will wait upon the Lord. I will accept His will for I know He does all things well. I will face this day uncertain as to how it will go. I will also face today with the assurance that Jesus will abide in me if I abide in Him. Whatever comes our way He is exceedingly able to provide us the grace to prevail.
    I pray that what I have written today will not discourage you or give you reason for doubt. God has a plan for us all. How we align with that plan is our choice. If we truly have faith in Him we must seek His will.” In all our ways we must acknowledge Him”,and have faith to believe; “that all things work for the good of them that love the Lord.”” That’s what I’m believing in today. I hope you do too. Praise Him for His faithfulness!

Holding on ,
Bill